Lazrambles--sometimes, it just feels good

U.S. Sub and Japanese Tanker Collide

2007-01-08T22:33:00.000-08:00

It would seem that this has happened before, although (thankfully) this time, no one was injured, per the AP via Yahoo.

Apparently, while in the Arabian sea, just outside of the Straights of Hormuz, the USS Newport News SSN-750, collided bow to stern with a Japanese oil tanker.

Normally, I wouldn't comment on something like this right now, what with the incident just happening, and with the traffic in that area of the world, I am sure that it is just a matter of time before a submarine would collide with a surface ship in such a narrow passage, especially if the sub was at PD and there were many contacts out there. I do remember being in the section tracking party simulators while training for missions, with what seemed like hundereds of contacts in the "shipping lanes" that we just had to transit at PD...keeping everything in line was a full time job for the Sonar girls, the OOD, the JOOD, the FTs, the EM, and yours truly, the best plotter on the SSN-711. I truly hope for the best for this crew, but I am pretty sure that the CO, XO, Nav, and possibly the entire ships control party will feel the heat for this incident (which is the way of the Navy), even if it isn't their fault at all (as in the tanker wasn't following the rules of the road).

On the other hand, this day (Jan 8th, for those of you who are too lazy to look at the date) has special meaning for us current and, in my case, former San Francisco sailors. This was the day when, 2 years ago, all of our lives changed by another collision, not into another ship at low velocity with no damage or injuries, but into a mountian, at depth, full speed, horrible damage and many casualties. After talking to some of the guys that are still on the boat, they are remembering it like I am, specifically, by drinking. Hey, it is what we do.

We have been shown, in the last two weeks, that being a submariner can be dangerous, even in the best of times. With the incident on the MSP, and now this one (no injuries, thank GOD), it should serve as a reminder to all submariners, past, present and future, that our job was never to be taken lightly, and that the purpose of qualifying in Submarines was to insure that the best people were onboard, instead of allowing just anyone to run the (potentially) most dangerous machines on the planet (dangerous to the operators, as well as any tin pot dictator that is out there).

To all of you submariners, especially all of my buddies that went through that horrible day two years ago with me, here is to you, a toast to the best men in the world.

And another drink, for Cooter, who touched all of our hearts on the San Fran, whom we will never, ever forget, for as long as we live.

OK Celina, this one is for you.

2006-11-19T20:25:00.000-08:00

Recently, I had the pleasure to have a good group project, in which we researched a "cutting edge medical practice that has contreversy....blah...blah...blah" and, well, my group decided on Medical Microchips. Suffice it to say that it was interesting, and I learned a lot...so let's get started!

First of all, some background. There is a company out there that makes implantable microchips, called RFID (Radio Frequency ID), which has a number associated with it, and can be read with a proper reader at a range of about 2", which could then (in theory) access a data bank (that the person supplies info to) that contains info such as medical records, or a bank account (for purchases), and pretty much anything that you can think of.

So, after researching some of it, and learning a lot about the strengths and weaknesses of the technology, I have determined that it is pretty safe, at least about as safe as shopping online, or most other things that we take for granted. However, some people don't think so.

Enter the "tin foil hat" people! These people are freaking nuts! They think that the government, you know, the people who can't track and count the number of illegal aliens in the country, has already implanted a lot of people with this technology, and is tracking them from space! Now, why would the government do that? Maybe it is possible, with GPS, to have a small transmitter implanted into a person (for a short time, until the batteries run out), and track them wherever they go!!

Now, I ask you, how in the name of hell can this happen? First of all, I think I would notice some missing time required for the procedure...and I am a pretty light sleeper, so I would know if they came into my room to put me under. Second of all, I have no new scars, so I guess that Big Brother isn't tracking me (yet!!!). Third....why would they need to do this? Does the government really want to know that I woke up at home today, went to class, went to the gym, went home, took a nap, went outside to smoke....really? Some dude at the NSA must have a more boring life than I do, watching that shit all day long.

These "tin foil hat" people are the same people who think that the government goes through their trash, or that their shit goes to some secret lab to be analyzed, or that the fluoride put in the water is for chemical mind control, or that the jet contrails in the air are really a form of particulate mind control to keep to population docile (works pretty well in the big cities, doesn't it?).

OK, so, I am not one to say "let's trust the government with everything", but come on! Can you imagine how many people would be keeping that secret from other people. I could see it now! The "microchip injection technician" for Las Cruces, NM, comes home one morning (because he only implants those things for George W. Bush in the middle of the night...on second thought, Karl Rove is the leader of this fantasy) to his wife and kids...who were the first to be implanted. Wifey asks him how his night was at Wal Mart (because that is one of like 3 places that are 24 hour here). What does dude say? I mean, could he keep up the farce that he has been on the midnight crew at Wal Mart for 7 years without being able to change shifts to day crew? Would he be able to keep his secret implantation techniques away from his wife, whom he trusts with everything? She lives with him, for God's sake, and she is a woman, so she will find out that he doesn't work at Wal Mart (or the hospital, or Village Inn), and that he was lying.

So, the Wife knows about the super secret government program. And she will tell her sister, because her hubby is better than her sister's, and her sister tells mom, who tells the whole damn town.

How in the name of hell did they keep this secret for so damn long? Did they use no one but bachelors for this program (yah right, then all of the Bar Flys would know the secrets). Maybe they used Eunuchs for it...they aren't married, they won't be trying to impress some chick for a little piece, so they can't spill the beans. Perfect!

Oh wait, what kind of man would volunteer to get his family jewels cut off? So, that is a new conspiracy secret...some doctors who castrated a bunch of dudes for the government. How do they keep THAT secret? I mean, dudes disappearing for a few days, coming back with no memory...and no balls?

OK, so this is getting too complex for me to ponder. I guess that is why I should just let these intellectual powerhouses that think up these theories to keep me safe from Big Brother, just as much as I trust Al Gore and the church of Global Warming to keep my soul safe for Gaia (hey, I may just have my new topic!).

Interesting news of note

2006-10-20T15:09:00.000-07:00

I found this article earlier today, and just decided to comment on it. It is about a 16 year old girl in Atlanta who wanted to commit suicide. She was driving (in daddy's Mercedez) down the highway and swerved into oncoming traffic, slamming into a Daewoo coming the other direction, carrying a mother and her 6 year old child.
The ensuing crash killed the mother and injured the child, while the suicidal girl came out with minor injuries. The thing about it is, the girl was text messaging her count down to another girl, one who goes to the same school, this one. The girl that was getting the texts had earlier rebuffed the 16 year olds sexual advances. That is right, the little bitch wanted to kill herself after she tried to get another girl to lick her box, and, instead of taking herself out, she killed an innocent woman, hurt a child, and destroyed a family.
So, I just wonder what the punishment for this murderer is going to be. She was obviously out of her mind, trying to kill herself, but she failed that, and took someone else out with her. Will she get life in prison (which is what the prosecutor is looking for), or will she be able to cop out with an insanity plea?
And what kind of legal precident does that imply, if someone attempts suicide, and instead kills someone else? Will this be an easy out for people who want to murder someone, get in the car, "try" to commit suicide by running into a telephone pole, and accidently hit a pedestrian (who happens to be your most hated enemy) before hitting the pole, and claiming insanity because you were distracted by texting your suicide note on your cell phone to finish the job?
I will never understand why anyone would ever commit suicide, let alone do such a bad job of it to fail to take yourself, instead claiming another life. Is life for this 16 year old girl really that bad, when Dad will let her drive the Benz when she wants (to kill herself), and that she got rejected by some other chick. Hell, if I tried to off myself every time I was rejected by some woman, I would be dead many times over (as would pretty much every man in the world). Maybe this is a lesson for all of the budding lesbians, it isn't all chocolate and roses (or would that be Birkenstocks and flanel) when in the dating game, trying to get a woman to...well you know.
All in all, I do hope that this little rug muncher gets life in prision, where she can munch as much rug as Agnes in cell block A can provide her with. Then, maybe she will learn the lesson, that life is worth living, with the good and the bad, and that ending it in the most cowardly way is just that, the cowards way out.

Oh, and if you (my wonderful reader) takes offence to this, then you can just GKY*.

*Go Kill Yourself

The Lowest Common Denominator

2006-10-04T16:18:00.000-07:00

First of all, to all five of you who actually read this, I apologize for this rant, because it is a re-hash of an earlier post. But what the hell, it is the situation I am in right now, and I have a right to complain about it, right?

So I will get right down to it. The lowest common denominator. Used in math for addition of factors, where you figure out what number you must multiply your fractions by to get them to the same denominator, making it simple to sum them up. A simple process, one that a person who has the development beyond the 4th grade in elementary can understand. My question is, why do some people insist on teaching to the lowest common denominator? While attending this fine scholastic institution known as New Mexico State University, I have the pleasure of taking Physics for Engineers and Scientists...Basically a watered down version of vector algebra (which I am also taking at the same time, but that is beside the point). It is a class with 80-ish people in it, so no one gets much attention from the Ph.D. that instructs us. It is a Sophomore level class, intended to re-enforce other classes (of which you must have a good background in math to get into). There are university ordained guidelines to make sure that, say, and idiot from the education department could not take the class unless they were able to take Calculus, or another "high" math, so they have the background to take the class.
Well, it seems that the Physics department doesn't understand that people will come it with a working knowledge of trigonometry, i.e. how to figure out an angle, or the sides of a freaking triangle. We have been going over a vector problem in this class for 2 days (that is 2 hours), and we are barely through it. It isn't a hard problem, it is just that, well, they teach to the lowest common denominator.

Imagine if you will, you are learning something that is relatively new to you, let us say, how to build a bookcase. What would you expect to learn in this class? You may learn how to make certain cuts of wood (assume you are building it from scratch), measure out the pieces that you want, nail the damn things together, and then stain it (any carpenters out there, don't berate me for not explaining how to build a bookcase, this is a metaphor, not actual instructions). Well, what if, to learn how to build this bookcase, your class had 80 people in it, who have all taken (or learned in some way) how to build stuff with wood. You would assume that you will be able to learn how to build a bookcase in the first day, and then put a few together, learn some techniques for adding more features to your bookcase....doors, glass facing, lighting, etc....However, instead of the instructor assuming that you know what the hell a hammer is, he assumes that 5% of the class have no idea what a hammer, a nail, or even wood is. So, instead of going ahead, and teaching the 95% of people who have a clue (some may not know how to hammer very well, or some may be bad at staining, but all know what a hammer and nails are), said instructor decides to catch the lagging 5% up, and teach the basics.

This is a hammer, it is used to hammer nails into the wood. Remember what wood is? This is wood...yes Alex...no, that is plastic, this is wood.

You see how frustrating this would be, don't you?

I don't claim to be the smartest person in the world, but, for God's sake, please don't treat the majority of a friggin college level class like they are in the 1st grade. I felt like it was time for a snack and nap, right after finger painting, at the pace we were going.

Why are our colleges wasting time and money on allowing Ph.D.s to NOT teach 70-ish people, just because 10-ish shouldn't be in that class? I have noticed this, in the past 2 1/2 semesters I have enjoyed being at NMSU, that, any class that doesn't have ME before it, is a waste of time. They assume that people don't know anything at all about anything, and teach from there. I have an idea, just assume that I don't speak English, and then start teaching me the language in Physics class, so I can have a background when you start teaching the numbers, colors, and how to piss standing up.

I feel really sorry for some of these people that are going through this type of instruction, they are learning one thing only, that to get a degree, all you have to do is be the lowest common denominator and skate right on by. They will do great at their next job...."Would you like fries with that?"

I reserve the right to not care about any of the grammatical and spelling errors found within

2006-09-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

So, I guess I should write in this thing again, seeing as how it has been a while, but I have been busy, so I have a pretty good excuse to not write my ramblings. College is going well, if not totally busy (so busy that I am quitting my job...not that I need it), and I don't really have a life anymore (wait, I never had a life). So all is good on the homefront.

I am getting pretty entertained by all of the political commercials, as well as the screeching on the internet, and of course the "news" that is put out there about anything and everything. I swear, some people are just getting more and more....how should I put it...classless...as time goes by. What ever happened to "do unto others" and other golden rules of classy behavior (not saying I am civilized, but I seem more so than these people). Go on and look for yourself and tell me you are not laughing you ass off at these people for making an ass of themselves. What some people do for power.

On the other hand, I guess we just have to live with it. At least we don't go around be-heading people, or burning churches, or shooting nuns in the back. When it gets that bad here, then we know we are in trouble, and our bonds of civilization have been broken for good. I for one hope that the vocal ones take this advise that I will paraphrase:

It is better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.

College

2006-09-06T20:14:00.000-07:00

Well, here I am, in my second year of college at the great NMSU, and boy howdy is it great! Not really that great, I mean, tuition is up (to pay for dorms that many people won't use), parking sucks (because of all of the construction), and, well, I just really wish I didn't have to take some of the useless classes that I am taking. Oh well, that is the price I have to pay to get a degree, and it isn't that much of a price to pay, I mean, tuition is only a little over $2000, so I can't complain.

As far as the classes, they are pretty easy. Calc III, Phys for Engineers, and Statics are the exact same things right now, so I really have 1 class for the price of 3, which makes it a piece of cake when you think about it. And it is all for a good thing, i.e. me making tons of money when I get a real job!

That is pretty much all, I have to work on homework shit for my Tech Writing class (like I haven't written FWPs before), so, untill next time!

The Ranch

2006-08-22T17:50:00.000-07:00

So, it has been two weeks of "flash flood watch" for, well, most of this state. The temperature has been downright winter-like, if you consider 68F winter, which is pretty close to the truth here, but I digress, this isn't about the weather, this is about my trip to my Dad's ranch this weekend.

The Ranch, which is located about 25 miles south of Tucumcari, NM, has been dry as a bone this year, as well as last year. Most of the people around there don't remember when it was ever drier in that area (hint, it was the dust bowl), but the drought has been pretty bad. I think it is over.

I got to the ranch on Friday, after they recieved 3" of rain, filling up a lot of dirt tanks and muddying up the road. The whole way, all 6 hours of driving, the grass was green, and I saw several herds of antilope, the first I had seen so many since I was about 9. All of the cattle seemed to be pretty happy about the rain and the cool weather, since they were pretty frisky and eating as much of the green grassy stubble as they could get into their mouth.

Well, come Saturday, I woke up to a nice drizzle, which is very rare in NM. Dad and I went to the part of the ranch located on the mesa (which they live at the base) to see their "lake". Turns out that about 25 acres of the ranch is covered with water, making a small lake that is about 15' deep in the middle!!!

They were pretty happy about it, the fact that they aren't going to burn up in a fire caused by a random lightening strike, so I am happy for them. I really wish I could spend more time up there, since I am sure they need help with random crap (building fence, ripping those damn cacti out of the ground, etc.), but I don't have the time to go up there, not now, but hey, that is the price I pay to become an Engineer.

Along those lines, school starts this Thrusday, and I am looking foward to it. I am not looking foward to some of the dumb-asses that I have to put up with in those classes, but definatly looking foward to the classes themselves, which can be interesting, if a little easy.

105 Reasons Why...

2006-08-17T15:10:00.000-07:00

Here is a beautiful sunset taken by one of my friends while we were on Guam...Bryan or Bryan.

I know that this has been circulating around the internet for a while, and I am sure that the dude who wrote it didn't get any credit for it. So, if you ever stumble across my humble blog, thank you for making me laugh, this is a great list.

And, it is so true. Who hasn't thought some (many) of these thoughts when they were in the middle of an ORSE, or during an all night hydro that just won't go right? I know I have.

105 Reasons why McDonalds is better than Submarines

No McORSE.
If you have to take a piss, you can go take a piss. No questions asked.
You'll never have to go port and starboard on the fryer.
Better pay.
The sun.
Air.
The boxes of food at McDonald's aren't stamped "Rejected by Hardee's" or "Not fit for human consumption".
The ability to call in sick.
The ability to quit.
McDonald's doesn't get their uniforms from the same company as the state penitentiary.
McDonald's doesn't deploy.
They have actual janitors, and they use mops, not sponges.
No McDrills.
The grill breaks, you CALL someone to fix it.
At least your boss accepts that he's a clown.
No McResin Discharge.
No all night hydro on the fryer.
One word: Overtime.
Every day is slider day!
At McDonald's, you will never, EVER, worry about being put in prison for ten years because you told your wife what the secret sauce is.
They pay you for training.
You'll never die a horrible, excruciating death from the crush depth implosion of a McDonald's.
No steam piping.
No time at McDonald's will you hear your boss give a thirty minute dissertation over the 1MC on the importance of being at the register 5 minutes early.
They won't ask you about Taco Bell operations on the advancement test.
You get to leave work EVERY day at the end.
McDonald's will eventually fire the really stupid employees.
Two words: Happy Meals.
McDonald's doesn't look like a big black turd.
Grimace don't do Vulcan Death Watches.
McDonald's has a slide out back.
To do something at McDonald's, you look at the color coded chart, not OP umpty-squat, chapter whatever, reference 3, ACN B, rev 17.
If McDonald's catches fire, you LEAVE.
No McSmall Valve Maintenance.
No McCOB.
Leaving McDonald's in an emergency doesn't require a Steinke hood and a lot of praying.
The coffee's better.
Someone else makes the water.
You don't have to live there to work there.
The only cones come from the ice cream machine.
McDonald's doesn't go into dry-dock (again and again).
ALL the tests are multiple choice.
Their TV commercials are a lot cooler.
Three words: Sea Foam Green.
Stock in McDonald's is worth something. The Navy is a part of an operation that is 6 trillion dollars in the hole.
Special sauce isn't "hand made".
No McBilges to clean.
Opening for business doesn't require a full day of preparations and everyone to show up for a brief at 0230.
Three words: Stupid ass hats.
Personnel inspection requirements are written on the door (No shirt, no shoes, no service).
At McDonald's, dislocating your shoulder is not considered getting the good deal.
McDonald's never had an accident that cause a person to be stuck to the ceiling impaled on a french fry.
Because you deserve a break today.
Even the little Hamburglar is cooler than a goat.
Mayor McCheese doesn't wield a righteous thumb of indignation.
You can choose which McDonald's you want to work at.
If you want to buy your boss a beer, that's okay.
If you want to tell your boss to fuck off and just die fucking die, that's okay too.
There is no Uniform Code of McDonald's Justice to deal with.
The news comes from USA Today, not Ric Crawford, GS-12.
No one will rack you out at 0200 to start the grill.
Chances of you getting called back after you get off work are pretty damn slim.
Putting the pickle on the hamburger doesn't require an QA-34 and a signature to be used against you in a court of law, should they want you.
The only guy in a silly yellow suit is Ronald.
How many McDonald's were sunk in World War II?
Fixing the register doesn't require a rubber room and a rope man.
Nothing on the menu contains the phrases, "Horse cock" or "Baboon ass".
At McDonald's, the riders would have to leave at closing time.
$2.99 is a meal price, not a daily wage at McDonald's.
You don't have to go single register operations if someone spills a Coke.
McDonald's doesn't require a 24 hour Shutdown Register Operator and McRoving Watch.
McDonald's doesn't call your house at 0530 in the morning blaring some god-awful antiquated song about a bugler just to wake you up.
No McRadcon.
There is never any verdigris in the pookah at McDonald's.
At McDonald's, your boss will never make you drive him around for two and a half months so he can spy on Wendy's.
You will never be locked in for 24 hours pretending to operate everything (no McFastcruise).
You don't have to come in to work at 0700 only to wait around for an hour waiting for your boss to tell you things you already know.
At McDonald's you will never hear, "Shake machine troubleshooting team, and all off watch drinkmakers, lay aft."
No McGMT.
At McDonald's you don't have to route a 1250 for a new stack of cups.
If you burn a hamburger they won't take away half a month's pay for two months and restrict you to the playground.
Knowledge of the material of construction and variable operating characteristics of the grill are not prerequisites for operation.
You don't have to take apart the shake machine once a quarter just because.
You don't have to share your bed with two coworkers.
You don't have to shave off your goatee when the district manager comes.
At McDonald's, when the toilet clogs, you don't rig pressurized air to the shitter.
You don't have to shut everything off and call in the last shift to start the grill.
Early in the morning, you don't cycle the drink machine on and off just for practice.
You scrub the floors because it's dirty, not because it's Wednesday.
There is almost always plenty of parking. If not, drive through.
Don't like what you got? Take it back.
You don't have to take a turbidity prior to putting a new catsup dispenser on service.
Failure of the warming oven door to open is not a panic causing event. It will also not preclude you from starting another fryer or pulling the fries out of the vat due to interlock.
No McHPACs.
No one hates it so bad they refer to it simply as "The Mac".
No 16 hour days at McDonald's prototype making burgers in the middle of the desert for no one.
If you wipe up a catsup spill at McDonald's, you don't have to let it dry before you throw it away.
They won't secure one of the register operators to keep track of the people going into Burger King.
You don't have to have permission from the Manager, Assistant Manager, and Register Operator before going into the freezer.
At McDonald's, the toilet paper stays in the bathroom, not on the dinner table.
You don't need high voltage gloves, a rubber room, and a rope man to change out the heat lamp.
No McOI-55.
They don't make their french fries from a Play-Doh press.
At McDonald's, management doesn't change the time zone in the middle of your shift, trying to trick you into working extra hours.
All of the articles of the Constitution apply to you at McDonald's.

What is Wrong With Education?

2006-08-14T17:12:00.000-07:00

Well, if the previous post wasn't long enough, here is another one. I guess I should write about the state of the kids coming out of high school in this nation...well, mostly NM, but also everywhere else in this fair nation of ours.

I took Freshman English last semester, and while I didn't think that it would be hard, I was surprised at how easy it was. I was the only Eng major in my class, the rest being...get this...primary education majors, with a few nursing and psych majors. Now, I know that teaching is an important vocation, and that teachers are very important to society as a whole, and that we should respect them for what they do, but give me a break, a lot of them that I see coming through the colleges are useless wastes of flesh!!!

In said english class, most of the people were young, 18-ish, with a few older folks in it, me being in the middle (not in my 50's, but not a baby barely able to vote and unable to drink). A vast majority of the people could not read. No, they were not illiterate, but they were pretty damn close...they could read, but didn't have much of a vocab, and comprehension was a joke...and these people want to teach my kids (if/when I have some) to read!!! I don't understand.

Well, actually, I do. Say what you will about President Bush and no child left behind (written by Teddy Kennedy, D-Mass), but this problem did not start after Jan, 2001. It started many many years ago, when these kids were in elementry/middle school, sometime in the '90's (not blaming Clinton either). But, knowing what I know from the Nuke power pipeline, and what passes for knowledge in some of these college courses, it is evident that the school system is failing, and passing the buck on to higher education, like my wonderful University, as well as the Navy Nuclear Pipeline, or to the workforce. What will this do to production in the future (I have allready seen it in the Navy, with some people coming in, expecting the division to hand them everything on a silver platter like they got in power school, high school, and from mommy and daddy), what will this do to our job force when these people are handling money at banks (and can't do math), when they are writing tech manuals (when they can't form a coherient sentence), when they are putting together a multi-billion dollar submarine (when they can't read the documents)?

I don't want to toot my own horn, but I am smarter than the average bear, and I know that I will be well employed in the future, especially with this dumbing down of so many people coming out of the education system, but a small handfull of people can't do everything. That is why I loved training on the boat, I wouldn't do everything anymore (to those of you from M-div on San Fran, you know who I am talking about during the 2002/2003 timeframe, especially during the dark summer of 2003 before it started getting better (hemp-nuts, dorksen, donut, and lets be honest, all of those random DINQ coners that couldn't handle it BEFORE we ran into a damn mountian)). Sometimes, I think that I am going in the wrong direction, getting an Aerospace Eng degree, I should go into education...but my calling is Engineering, and one man can't fix the system (despite what all of those skimmer fags that went to prototype while I was a SPU there, trying to "fix the system" allthough they didn't know shit from shinola on a submarine prototype, and finally learned it just in time to go back to the "Big E"). I will get my degree, despite how easy it really is, and how dumbed down too many of the classes are, go to a (hopefully) private Aerospace firm and change the world for better (see Moon Midgets).

School countdown

2006-08-14T16:52:00.000-07:00

So, here I am, getting ready for my 4th semester of college (well, 3rd, unless you count taking Calc II during the summer I session a semester) and I am so looking foward to it. There is always some dumbass in at least one (usually more) of my classes that just doesn't get it. What is it that this person doesn't get? Well, sometimes the material, but I don't rag on those people, I know that "the stupid shall be punished, and the truly stupid shall die" but I like to help those people, at least get over the initial shock of not being coddled by the nanny state that modern American education has created (that will be a whole other post). I like to rag on the know-it-alls that don't know when to shut their freaking mouth.

Take my first chemistry class last fall. I know, a nuke taking college chemistry, what the hell is that all about, couldn't I just get credit for it through my smart transcript. I thought so, but this college (at least the ME/AE college) doesn't know what to give me, even though I have tried, I guess that they just want to money from me (by the way, 8% tuition increase this semester, and most likely more next semester). Anyway, this chick, I call her SKELETOR, was pretty smart, in that super skinny, vegan, hippy chick sort of way. She knew a lot of stuff (aparently other states are better than NM at high school chemistry), but she also new a lot of stuff that just wasn't true (liberals, gotta love them).

I had so much fun in that class, mainly because she was wrong so many times, but she thought that she was right, and she just wouldn't shut up about it. She would argue with the instructors (who had Ph.D. in chemistry) about the dumbest things, most of which escapes me (maybe I should start writing stuff down, but the 19 year old girls that sit near me were too distracting).

Let me just say that I am looking foward to this semester, allthough I will be in mostly Engineering classes, with Calc III, Eng Physics, and technical writing (why the hell am I taking tech writing, I can write a package, hell, I can write in RPM language, given enough incentive). I will make a prediction, that in Calc III, Physics, and definatly tech writing, I will run into some wonderfully stupid people, and my mission will be to point out the stupidity every chance I get.

I guess that is a product of sitting through training sessions, first as a SPU at S8G, and then on the San Francisco. I stay away from pointing out stupidity of the lecturers (they are in control of my grades), but everyone else is fair game. I love it, this is what makes college so wonderful, well, that and the girls. Southern NM is a great place of short shorts and tank tops...too bad that the whales wear them also, but I just screen them out of my vision when the come into view.

Oh, and another thing that I really like about this university. It is primarily an Ag/Eng college, so that means that it is mostly conservative, no kooks (well, not many) running around campus, the hotties that don't wear short shorts usually wear ropers, drive a giant truck, and own a horse...gotta love it!

Shit-storm 2002

2006-08-13T14:22:00.000-07:00

Back in the day, when the San Francisco was heading from Norfolk to our new home in Guam, we had a little mishap. We were a few days out of Hawaii in early December, and I had just hit the rack after some long, hard time of working in the ER, you know, the usual nuke MM's job of doing some random crap that needed to be done (I think it was helping the new "MMC" who was an MM1 ELT because we lost our MMC in San Diego due to kidney stones, get into the job). By the way, being the only one of a few experienced mechanics on a boat first thing out of the yards really sucks, but that is a different story about how half of M-Div deserted us right after the boat left the yards.

So, there I was, in the rack, I had just passed out, when one of the ELT's that slept below me woke me up.

"Ben, get up, they just called away flooding"
I didn't hear the alarm the first time, I was out of it, but the second time, I heard it. I was out of the rack and putting on my poopie suit when the I heard the announcement...

"Flooding in the Galley"

Now, I ask you, how the hell can we have flooding in the galley? I asked the ELT next to me, and he said that it was pretty much impossible (well, it could happen, but that would involve much more than a busted pipe).

Then, this announcement came:

"there is no flooding in the galley"

Whew, what a relief...oh, wait, what is that horrible smell??

The smell had found its way into Fwd Bearthing, and right then I knew, there was no flooding in the galley (I guess the CSC didn't understand the galley as much as he should have). There was just the little issue of one of the Sanitary tanks being blown into the galley...oops, bad valve lineup.

I decided that, since I was oncoming, and I hadn't slept in over 30 hours, that I would let the offgoing watch section handle it and hit the rack (being unqualified, but a fairly new second class on the boat (damn SPUs) gave me some leeway).

Turns out that, while blowing sanitaries, the AOW lined up to blow the tank into the galley San tank, thus blowing two whole sanitary tanks directly into the galley.

When I woke up for watch, there was no chow (several thousands of dollars worth of food were ruined, since the cooks were preparing the meal at the time), but the smell in the Fwd compartment was horrible! I went to the ER, and started hearing all of the reports from my little nuke spies that were there (my U/I in the section had to wake up to help clean because the douchebag had gone to bed right after our last watch while I was busy fixing some stupid bullshit, probably training, or maybe some maintinance that some idiot messed up). Turns out that there was a river of shit, flowing from the galley, down to the AMR and LL head. I could do nothing but laugh my ass off (at him) because he had to help clean the river Styx up!! Ha.

I wrote a little article about it, dubbing it Shit-Storm 2002, in our M-Div Pass Down Log, which I had adopted as a serious form of record keeping for future M-Divers on that beautiful sub, but unfortanuatly, some poodle haired douchebag did away with it while we were in dry-dock after the collision. It had many, many years of entries in it, such as the Shit Storm episode, survival in the strip clubs in Guam, what to do in case some idiot breaks a valve lapping tool in an HPD, and why the hell did I have to fix it...isn't there any other M-Div dude who can lap a freakin' valve? Oh well, I will lament on the loss of that book until the day I die, because it was the recent history of the M-div of the best boat in the fleet, complete with odes and tributes to our lost shipmate.

To whomever took that book, if you still have it, I want it...if you destroyed it because of the things that people wrote in there about you, well, then, all I can say is that I forgive you for taking away a great history, and hopefully, if the San Fran ever goes out to sea again, that M-div will start a new PDL, and keep the tradition going for as long as she is out to sea.

Plutonian Warming?

2006-07-26T20:34:00.000-07:00

I have written about "Global Warming" before, and here is another tidbit, gleaned from the ABC news service:

Basically, it says that Pluto is getting warmer

So, what does that mean for us here on Earth? Well, since I have allready stated that Mars is warming up:

Martian Warming

It would seem only logical that the Earth is warming due to some connected cause. What could this cause be? Let us ask Al Gore. He (along with a bunch of other air-heads) says that us humans are the cause of the 1C temp. rise this past century. So are we the ones who are causing the temperature to rise on Mars, and on Pluto (for those of you that may be science deficient, Pluto is the furthest planet in the solar system, and the only human made devices to come close to it were the Voyager I and II probes). Or, could it be, I don't know, maybe.....THE SUN???????

I don't know, the sun is a 4% variable star, with cycles that we have only began to study, but I am sure that that isn't the cause of the slight, SLIGHT warming that the planets of the solar system has been experiencing. Maybe the Mars rover, the Viking lander, and those damn commie Russian landers are what started heating up Mars, and the reflected sunlight from the Voyager probes are what is causing the warming on Pluto. It must be, we are at fault.

There is only one solution, one that the ancient Japanese warriors used to practice when they lost their honor...and we, as a race, have lost our honor, so I guess that we need to all fall on our swords (i.e. stop all progress, strip naked, run out into the woods and eat berries and wipe our asses with leaves....hope the food holds out for 6 billion people). I will wait for Al Gore, Babs Streisand, and all the rest (Gilligan's Island) to start the new way of life before I do, because I for one will not be convinced that I am causing the wonton destruction of the Earth (hint, 1C in one century is nothing). Look into the far past to see how hot the Earth was...or look at the history of Greenland, when the Vikings settled it and farmed it, until the ice drove them off. Or, look at the history of England, where Rome grew grape vines for Roman wine...wait, grape vines don't grow in England now, it is too cold. I guess we will see who is right, the alarmists, or the rest of us.

My Moon Colony

2006-07-25T17:11:00.000-07:00

This is a little thing that I would use to entertain myself during long nights in the ASW bay, usually with a few dirty nukes and coners hanging around, smoking, and laughing at the insanity. If any midgets read this, the fee will be waived if you decide to volunteer!

We need to colonize the moon, and while we do, we need to take the time to ensure that the society there is as healthy, smart and all around from the best stock that humanity can offer. That is why myself and 10 of my closest buddies will start the moon colony. You may ask yourself, what does this have to do with midgets? I will get to that.
You see, I, along with the 9 dudes I pick, will the the penultimate of human evolution (or intelligent design, whatever), the most rugged, hansome, smart and practical men on the planet. I know that a moon colony can not survive with only 10 dudes, it would be boring and not very productive, that is why I will also hand pick 500 women to go with us. Why 10 dudes and 500 women? Well, first of all, you don't need that many men to start a colony, just a few and a lot of women for a good genepool (to limit the chances of inbreeding further down the road). These 510 people will sequester themselves in a base in remote Antartica, outside contact with the rest of the world, so as to let any diseases run their course and get over with (they will also be in quarantine amongst themselves).
While they are in quaranteen, some robots will go to the moon and dig out a preliminary habitat, with fiberoptic light shafts in large caves, and a starting hydroponic farm, along with fetuses of all kinds of animals (useful ones, not some damn useless ones like the platypus, allthough they amuse me and I may take some).
When our heroic colonists go to the moon, their sole job will be to procerate. Yes, that is right, 10 dudes trying to get 500 Tyra Banks look alikes pregenant (or if you perfer, Cindy Crawford, Jessica Alba, Shakira, whoever). It will be a tough job, but somebody has to do it.
Now you ask yourself, if the 10 dudes are busy banging 500 women (that would be 50 women each), and of course with all of the burden of pregenancy and such, how will anythning get done?? Who will grow the food, expand the living spaces, clean, manufacture diapers, pruify air and water, etc. etc. etc.
Well, this is where the midgets come in at. As we all know, midgets are not legally people (or are they, I'm pretty bad at that law stuff), therefore we can do all kinds of genetic modification on them. I am not looking at genetically creating a superman here (I will be making them the old fashioned way), but I want usefulness out of intelligence. These midgets will be photosynthetic. Yes, that is right, photosynthetic, they will take in the sun's energy (hence the fiberoptics) and make food for themsleves, using water of course. A by-product of this will be the Oxygen that they breathe out (only when sleeping, of course, while they are awake, the breathe out CO2), which will maintain the ballance of the atmosphere in the colony.
Another skill they will be designed with will be specific to the "species" of midget that is created. You will have your standard food midget, the ones that grow corn out of their ears, or have Mt. Dew nipples, or have a bowl head that secretes Chili con Qeuso (and his wife grows corn chips on her back). I will have a midget that produces any kind of food imaginable. You want some hummus, call the hummus and pita midget. You want some beer, there is Shirley, the midget with the beer nipples. You want a pasta salad, that is the Carmine clan. Anything that industry can make, I can make on a midget for just a little bit of sun and water.
Another "breed" will be the mine midgets. These will be the ones that are going to dig out the new tunnels, with their mouths. They will have diamond teeth, and eat the regolith of the Moon, shitting out processed ores, gems, hammers, or scented candles. A sub-set of their species will be the cleaning midget, who will have Formula 409 as saliva, a cat-like toungue, and will lick everything to clean it, shitting out recycled paper from the refuse of the colony.
There will be all sorts of midgets flying around the moon colony (did I forget to mention that they will have wings, and since they are on the moon, they will be able to fly in that gravity). All types that I can't even imagine now, and will not be able to predict when they start breeding amongst each other. What happens with a midget, who processes ores and shits out microprocessors, mates with the cabinet fixture midget? Will we get smart cabinets with little microprocessors? Will we get something new and totally unexpected? Who knows, but I for one am excited about it, and I hope you are too. If you are interested, send a SASE with your $500 down payment to:

"Moon Midgets"
P.O. Box 99125
Moon Colony Alpha (A), Moon
99999

Nothing

2006-07-01T22:13:00.000-07:00

Well, I just started this "blog" thing, so, this being my first post, will have really nothing on it, at least for a few days. It is near the 4th of July, and, since my birthday is the next day, I will be out and about, not making any deep thoughts, not cracking the mysteries life, the universe, and everything (42). Essentially, this is just a placement post, here to take up room in cyberspace, doing nothing (much like the NMSU admin does).